I put myself through so much nervousness, so much sickness, so much spazziness. So much...everything.
I panicked. I worried. I made myself sick. All for nothing. And not because it went well. Because he didn't even show. The sad thing? This is one of the things I was panicking about. Him not showing. Normally my worries are irrational, but this one actually happened.
Apparently he was sleeping. But he couldn't text me an apology, couldn't call me or anything. No, but he texted Lucas and told him that he was sleeping, but not me.
First date and I was practically stood up. Win, right?
Is it so hard, to ask to feel....beautiful for once? Liked? Special? Important? By a guy? Just once. In my life. I'm eighteen years old.
And this wasn't a confidence booster.
Is it totally pathetic that I'm crying? I tried so hard not to. So hard...
This is so damn stupid.
And my mom is pissed off at every moment about something different.
Please Mom, just leave me alone.
Everyone, just....shut up. Please.
And I can't even blog about the good stuff that happened last night...the amazing friends I have. Instead, this is all that's on my mind.
That and I probably put Jamie through awkward hell last night.
Why can't she see that people do like her?
That she's not a fuck up?
That it's not her fault?
wakgjewaljakjglawgjawkljgkrjgrkgjrjrkagjkeagjawejawgkaj.
"But I know your heart belongs to someone you've yet to meet
Someday you will be loved."
-Death Cab For Cutie
No comments:
Post a Comment